I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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