If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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