dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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