We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
