thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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