can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
