My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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