didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
