Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
