The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
