I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
