Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize