we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
