I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
