I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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