U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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