You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you made out with another girl for some wings
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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