he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
