I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
