do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
