I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
