she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
