I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
