Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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