Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
