then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
