So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
PANTIES FOUND
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