ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
smell my finger.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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