you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
high people should be assigned attendants
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
