my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
