My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
