you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
