Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
