1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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