i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The struggles of a small town man whore
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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