Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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