You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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