ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
