do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
