11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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