We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
