I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize