Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
