Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My bed smells like the plague
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
