That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
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