He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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