We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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