like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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