just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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