What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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