upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
