It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
