I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
they need to just BURY HIM!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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