I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
