idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
