This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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