i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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