You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize