You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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