Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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