I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
