theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
