I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
