U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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