i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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