There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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