Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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