Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize