Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
