Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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