My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
