My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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