I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
