ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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